The Menopause Edit

You’re cruising through your 30s/40s, feeling like you’ve got life mostly figured out, when suddenly - BAM! Your body has a mid-season plot twist - except the writers have gone rogue, and suddenly you're living in a psychological thriller, your internal thermostat is broken, and you've had more character development than Sharon Mitchell.

Menopause isn’t just a biological milestone; it’s a full-on mind-body experience that can affect everything from your sleep to your stress levels. While you can’t opt out of this nightmarish rollercoaster, you can prepare, so it feels less like a crisis and more like a (slightly chaotic) transition into a new, empowered phase of life.

I’ve worked with many clients who feel blindsided by this mental and emotional vacuum - over 90% of my clients who came to me with anxiety have been perimenopausal. So let’s talk about what’s really happening, why your brain has installed a buffering wheel, and how to make this transition smoother - without completely losing your cool.

The Science of Perimenopause and Menopause (AKA, What The F**K Is Happening?!)

Before we talk about coping strategies, let’s break down what’s actually going on under the hood.

Most women experience a fairly predictable menstrual cycle, typically (but not always) lasting around 28 days. During this cycle, hormones like oestrogen and progesterone fluctuate to regulate the process of ovulation and menstruation. Oestrogen rises in the first half of the cycle, peaking just before ovulation, while progesterone increases in the second half to support a potential pregnancy. If there’s no pregnancy, progesterone levels drop, leading to your period.

For many, this cycle becomes more predictable over time (a false sense of security, anyone?) until perimenopause starts to creep in. This is when the “regular” rhythm gets thrown out the window, and things start to get a little... unpredictable.

Perimenopause (meaning "around menopause") can start in your late 30s or 40s and last anywhere from a few months to over a decade. During this time, your hormones, mainly oestrogen and progesterone, start fluctuating unpredictably. Some days they’re high, some days they’re low, and your body reacts accordingly. This hormonal turbulence is what causes many of the classic symptoms, like irregular periods, mood swings, and brain fog.

Then comes menopause, officially diagnosed when you’ve gone 12 months without a period. At this point, oestrogen levels have significantly dropped, and symptoms like hot flushes, sleep issues, and joint pain can intensify before eventually settling down in postmenopause.

The Neuroscience of Perimenopause: Why Your Brain Feels Like It’s Glitching

Perimenopause isn’t just a reproductive transition, it’s also a neurological event. The fluctuations in your hormone levels, especially oestrogen and progesterone, affect brain function in a number of ways. Here’s why you might feel like you're losing your mind during this time:

• The Power Surge and the Power Drain Oestrogen plays a key role in how your brain uses energy. It helps neurons process glucose efficiently, which essentially fuels brain function. During perimenopause, oestrogen levels begin fluctuating (rather than dropping steadily), which causes your brain's energy supply to become erratic. This might be why you're suddenly forgetting things, struggling to focus, or feeling like you’re wading through brain fog. It’s like your brain’s GPS keeps recalculating, but it can’t decide on the right route. (Source: Brinton, R. D. (2013). "The science of the menopause: Insights and the neuroendocrine relationship." Journal of Women’s Health, Issues & Care.)

• Mood Regulation and the Stress Response

  Oestrogen also has a direct influence on serotonin and dopamine, the neurotransmitters that help regulate mood. When oestrogen fluctuates, it can mess with your emotional balance, making you more susceptible to anxiety, irritability, or even mood swings that come out of nowhere. On top of that, as your ovaries start to wind down, your adrenal glands have to pick up some of the hormone production slack, making your body more sensitive to stress. This one-two punch of hormonal changes can leave you feeling like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster. (Source: Kuehner, C. (2017). "Why is depression more common among women than among men?" The Lancet Psychiatry.)

• Brain Meets Body Temperature

  Hot flushes, which tend to make a surprise appearance during perimenopause, are linked to changes in the brain’s hypothalamus, the region responsible for regulating temperature. As oestrogen levels dip unpredictably, the hypothalamus becomes more sensitive to even minor temperature shifts and, well… it thinks you’re overheating. So, it triggers the body's cooling system - a sudden rush of heat and the inevitable sweat that follows. Think of it like a tech malfunction where the thermostat thinks it's in a heatwave. (Source: Sowers, M. F., & Zheng, H. (2010). "The menopause transition and the hypothalamus-pituitary-gonadal axis." Obstetrics & Gynecology Clinics of North America.)

  
  

These neurological shifts during perimenopause can leave you feeling like your brain’s on a rollercoaster, too—sometimes up, sometimes down, and often hard to predict. But understanding what’s happening under the surface can help you better navigate this wild ride.

While you can’t entirely prevent the symptoms of perimenopause and menopause, the good news is that there are plenty of ways to manage and cope with them. The hormonal fluctuations may be inevitable, but how you respond to them can make a huge difference in how you feel day-to-day. It’s important to remember that even if you’ve previously felt healed from trauma, resilient, and strong, these changes don’t negate the progress you’ve made. The truth is, it’s totally normal to feel like everything you’ve worked hard to build is suddenly being challenged. Perimenopause doesn’t erase your strength—it simply adds new layers to navigate. It’s about building resilience and finding techniques that help you ride out the rollercoaster of symptoms with more ease. Whether it’s dealing with hot flushes, mood swings, or brain fog, creating a toolkit of practical coping strategies can give you a sense of control. Let’s explore some exercises that can help you build mental and emotional strength during this time.

1. The Power Playlist 🎵

Music has a profound effect on mood and motivation. Research in positive psychology shows that listening to music can boost dopamine, reduce stress, and even improve cognitive function.

🔹 How to do it:

• Create a playlist of songs that make you feel empowered, calm, or just ridiculously happy.

• Have separate playlists for different moods, e.g.:

  • "I’m a Force To Be Reckoned With" (for when you need a confidence boost)

  • "Chill the F Out" (for relaxation and cooling down)

  • "Dancing Through the Brain Fog" (for movement and lifting brain fog)

• Whenever symptoms hit, hit play and let your brain ride the dopamine wave.
  

💡 Why it works: Research suggests that music therapy may help regulate emotions and even alleviate some menopause symptoms like stress and anxiety (source).

2. The Love Letter to My Future Self 💌

Instead of focusing on what’s "lost" during menopause, use positive psychology to shift your mindset toward growth and wisdom.

🔹 How to do it:

• Write a letter from your future, post-menopause self (the wise, strong, empowered version of you) to your current self.

• Imagine she’s been through it all and come out the other side stronger. What advice would she give you? What words of encouragement would she offer?

• Store it somewhere safe and read it whenever you need a reminder that this phase is temporary.

  
  

💡 Why it works: Writing exercises like this boost optimism and resilience by shifting your focus toward long-term growth.

3. The Cooling Affirmations Experiment ❄️

Did you know that your thoughts can influence your body’s response to temperature? Studies in hypnosis and guided imagery show that the brain can reduce perceived heat just through suggestion.

🔹 How to do it:

• When a hot flush starts, instead of panicking, try repeating a “cooling” affirmation like:

  • “I am cool, calm, and refreshed.”

  • “A fresh, icy breeze surrounds me.”

  • “I feel a wave of cool energy washing over me.”

• Pair it with deep, slow breathing and visualising a cold environment (like standing in front of an open fridge—because let’s be honest, we’ve all done it).
  

💡 Why it works: Research suggests self-suggestion and hypnotherapy can help regulate body temperature responses, potentially reducing the intensity of hot flushes.

4. The Alter Ego Identity Shift 👑

Feeling like menopause is making you lose your sense of self? Reframe it by creating an alter ego—one who fully OWNS this transition like the powerhouse she is.

🔹 How to do it:

• Imagine a version of yourself who thrives during menopause. Give her a name, a personality, and even a backstory.

• How does she move through the world? What’s her attitude? (Does she wear red lipstick and call her hot flushes “power surges”?).

• Whenever you feel overwhelmed, channel your alter ego and ask, “What would she do?”

  
  

💡 Why it works: Identity-based cognitive reframing helps you see challenges as opportunities rather than losses. When you step into a new identity, you embody new strengths (source).

5. The Superpower List 🔥

Yes, menopause is challenging - but have you ever considered that it’s also unlocking strengths you didn’t even know you had?

🔹 How to do it:

• List out 5 strengths that menopause has forced you to develop.

  • Examples: Patience, resilience, emotional intelligence, prioritising self-care, setting boundaries.

• Keep the list somewhere visible as a daily reminder that this transition is making you stronger.
  

💡 Why it works: Recognising your own growth boosts self-efficacy and mental well-being. Studies show that focusing on strengths can reduce stress and increase overall happiness.

6. The "Hot Flush Power Move"🔥💃

Instead of dreading hot flushes, turn them into a moment of action—a physical cue that reminds you to do something positive.

🔹 How to do it:

• Every time a hot flush hits, instead of getting annoyed, use it as a cue for a positive action, like:

  • Drinking a glass of water

  • Stretching or moving your body

  • Doing a short breathing exercise

  • Saying a quick affirmation ("I am strong and steady.")

  • 
    

💡 Why it works: In behavioural psychology, habit stacking (linking a new habit to an existing cue) makes change easier. If your body is going to surprise you with hot flushes, you might as well turn them into something useful.

7. The Menopause Manifesto ✍️

Rather than seeing menopause as something happening to you, take charge by writing your own menopause manifesto - a declaration of how you want to experience this transition.

🔹 How to do it:

• Write 3-5 statements about how you will approach menopause. Examples:

  • “I embrace this transition as a time of wisdom and self-care.”

  • “I prioritise my mental and physical well-being.”

  • “I listen to my body with kindness and respond with care.”

• Read it aloud every morning as a reminder of the mindset you’re cultivating.
  

💡 Why it works: Affirmations and intentional goal-setting rewire the brain toward optimism and resilience (source).

7. The Anxiety Hypnosis 🧘🏻‍♀️

If you're feeling overwhelmed by anxiety during perimenopause, hypnosis can be a powerful tool to calm your mind and reset your nervous system. Guided hypnosis helps you tap into a deeply relaxed state, allowing your subconscious to process stress and anxiety more effectively. It’s a way to ease the physical and emotional tension that fluctuating hormones can create.

🔹 How to do it:

• Find a quiet space where you can sit or lie down comfortably and pop in your headphones.

• Listen to my Deep Calm audio (available here) designed to help reduce anxiety and promote relaxation during perimenopause.

• Let yourself relax deeply as the hypnosis guide takes you through visualisations and affirmations aimed at reducing stress, boosting confidence, and balancing your emotions.
  

💡 Why it works: Hypnosis taps into your subconscious mind to reframe negative thoughts and physical sensations associated with anxiety. It’s been shown to reduce anxiety and improve overall well-being by promoting a calm state of mind, which is especially helpful during perimenopause when anxiety levels can spike.

Rewriting the Menopause Narrative

Perimenopause and menopause don’t have to feel like a slow descent into madness. It can be a time of transformation, strength, and even humour—if you approach it with the right mindset and tools.

If traditional self-care isn’t cutting it, try experimenting with these positive psychology exercises and find what resonates with you. Some might feel silly at first, and some might not align with you at all, but one could be the spark you need to step back into yourself and feel empowered.

If you’re looking for personalised guidance, I offer free consultations where we can discuss how therapeutic mental health support and hypnotherapy can help you manage anxiety, stress, and other menopause-related symptoms. You can also check out the Events page for upcoming workshops and sessions that focus on calming and empowering you.

Remember, you’ve got the tools to thrive - it’s all about finding the right strategies for you!